This just in: I BROKE THE 300 POUND MARK! Another milestone met! I was pretty happy with myself, but not as much as I thought.
It is Monday March 2and 2009 and we have a new page for a new month.
Today I did get some more mail in from a guy telling me he can eat an entire 6 inch feast sub from Subway. He is 6 month out, and feels like he is in trouble. He most likely is. One of the comforting thing about Gastric Bypass, is that for a while. you can't overeat. Now this has been taken away from this guy as his security blanket. I needs to speak to his surgeon and see what is going on. There is a procedure for restructuring the pouch, but the one thing he really needs to get to the bottom of is why he is overeating. The point is that sooner or later we will all be able to eat like that and before that happens, we need to figure out why that is and stop it. For some people it is a downwards spiral. We have something go wrong in our lives, so for comfort we eat. We do that enough and we are fat. That lowers our self esteem, so to feel better we eat. Now it becomes a vicious cycle eat - feel better - fat - eat - feel better - fat. It just goes on and on. We have weight loss surgery to break the cycle. We don't overeat anymore because of the surgery, and with the weight loss, we are thinner and feel more attractive, so we don't eat for that reason. But (and this is a big but) there are many other things to go wrong in your life that have nothing to do with your weight. and to feel better from those we are not allowed to eat. Now we are at an uncorrectable behavior problem and that is where we need to work on it. Some do it by transferring the feel good compulsion, others not so much. They go back to the weight they started at. We all feel bad about that, so we eat.
If anyone has a solution for this I would sure like to hear it....
It is Wednesday March 11th 2009 and it has been a full seven days since my last entry. I have been having problems with my weight the last week and frankly a bit too depressed to write a blog. Plus my boss is getting really upset about me writing it. Anyway the gist of the situation is I gained three pounds. Ok, that really is not a huge deal, and well, it happens. I tell everyone else who asks that this crap happens and not to get bothered by it. Then I go and get bothered by it. I have made monumental progress, but somehow I am so bothered by this 300 pound thing. Plus you plateau once and a while, You see I am now back over that magic number of 300. This morning was 301.5. It is pretty crushing to say the least. I have worked and waited so long to get under that number, and once there I was elated, but now I am back. It will pass but it has been more than a week now, and it is depressing. Also last night something else happened that was disturbing, I wanted something compulsively. When it was not available I wanted to eat. Man, I wanted to eat in the worst way. I don't know if it was because of the depression, or self destruction, or whatever. The upside is that I saw it, recognized it, and stopped it. If I can keep it clinical, I should be able to deal with it. Life would have been much easier if the original compulsion could have been satisfied, but the learning experience was valuable. I just need to find some way to deal with it. Compulsion is hard to deal with, Depression is hard to deal with, when it is both.... That is real tough. But, there is always grouting.
Anyway...
Everything else is good. I am feeling good, have a lot of stamina, and actually unloaded an entire truck load of tile yesterday by myself. On top of that last Saturday I went to Home Depot, and Loews, picked out tile, walked around each store for an hour, came home, fixed the wall in the bathroom, tiled, (Turns out, I am pretty good at that. I am going to try to convince Ellen into letting me try that with our kitchen counters) put up a new shower rod, put up a new towel bar, put up a new TP holder, leveled some woodwork, installed a robe hook, did some more wall repair, and a minor clean up. After that I went and did some homework. There is NO WAY I could have done all of that 6 months ago. So I do see progress. I think since the weather is getting nicer, I want to do some walking. I should have more time now since school is over for a while.
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Saturday update
I took Ellen shopping this weekend she looks awesome! check her out.
I need Tell you the rest of the story... First of all it is now Tuesday November 17th 2009 and we have had very few entry's. Usually I get into work early. I am typically the first one in and the last one to leave on most days. Lately I just have not felt like coming in early 6:00 (Ish) to do the blog. Fred (Boss) doesn't want me doing the blog on company time; (Of course) so the only time I can do it is after 5. I have been busy on a super secret project (Which I am not going to tell you about) so time is just not there to complete it. Today I did get out of bed early and got in here early so I have some time to share. I just have not been able to stay in bed the last few days, Since I went on a tile run for work, and helped a friend move my back has been killing me. It just hurts too much to stay in bed.
First of all this is not my house in these pictures, here
I am at my friend's Marc and Bonnie Borstein's home. The weekend was quite busy. I woke up early
and went to breakfast at my new favorite diner Triplets Then off to Bill Dehiel's Tire store for a PA state inspection. Next off to Grapevine to
speak to Nancy concerning phones, then off to shopping for Ellen. If I have
not told you all yet Ellen has gotten her 90 day notice at work that she is
being laid off, (With over 90% of the rest of her workforce) and she now is
in the lovely world of job interviews. With Ellen having lost now around 70
some pounds, nothing fits for an interview. So we went interview suit
shopping and first she found the navy blue pants suit aand put it back
because it was too expensive, then she found the other ensembles. While she
was trying on the skirts and jackets and such, I found the cutest peep tow
ivory and white shoes with the highest heels she has EVER owned. I gave it
a try, picked out her size, and showed them to her. She loved them and what
those shoes did for her leg definition was outstanding! You can see by the
pictures here that they are just perfect, and she looks great in them. I
had to twist her are to get all three and here was my rationale The skirt
and jacket are perfect for her, and yes I picked out the Poka dots... (I
have a knack for dressing women) She will nail the interview in that
outfit. Next she tried on the pantsuit. That suit was made for her. Have
you ever heard some men talk about a hot girl (when she is not in the room
of course) I have been privy to some of those conversations and a term from
one that I never understood was "She has legs all the way up to her a-s! Of
course she does, we all do. What the hell does that mean? Then she came
out of the dressing room with that pants suit on. Now I get it Ellen had
the longest, nicest most well defined legs in that suit I have ever seen.
Look how tall she looks in the pictures. She has legs all the way up to her
a-s! Now the way Dress Barn works, is you get 70 bucks off on the first
suit, then 100 on the next. When she came out with the red suit, it closed
the deal. Red is her color, it is a power color, and her skin tone looks
great in it. If she tanned, or wore some color on her face, it would be
perfect. The belt gives her an hourglass figure, and with $170.00 off it
just would be stupid to leave it.
So now it is like 5:30 ish and we have a dinner party
appointment for between 6:30 and 7 at Marc and Bonnie's, (Remember? I
told you that already...) and we still have to go shopping at
Wal-Mart. (Groceries and a few health items) She tells me with these shoes
she needs a pedicure. Ok I will do the Wal-Mart shopping while you do the
pedicure. Shopping was a lot of back and fourth, but the item that stumped
me was the item way down on the list.... Pantyhose. Oh well, how many types
can their be? it is like buying long socks I guess. Well let me tell you,
you would not believe the variety! I have been staring at Ellen's legs for
years and do you think I could figure this out? Sheer panty, sheer tow,
silky mist, jet black, nude (Who are they kidding... Nude? that is not
nude.) and while I am trying to get the right size and style she wants
the two women are starring at me like I am so kind of pervert at the
pantyhose rack! So I explain to them (Before they mace me) that I am
following the list from my wife. Doubting me they begin to question, so
your wife sent you shopping and you are buying her pantyhose? Yes. And
where is she now? Getting a mani / pedi. So let me get this straight. She
is getting a manicure, and a pedicure, while you run all over this store and
to boot buy her pantyhose? Yes. Well baby are you available? Because I
WILL leave my husband right now if you are! Offers offers everywhere...
Anyway Off to Marc and Bonnie's house where we have sea scallops,
pork chops, and rice. A great dinner. I did not eat the rice, I had a
scallop and a small chop. I got to meet Bonnie's son Rob, a fine young
man with a lot of spirit, and very polite (Except to his Mother, but show me
a kid who is....) He went off to a St. Patty's day party leaving the adults
to talk. I also had lot's of conversation with Marc's son Mike.
Everyone who talks to Mike ends up with a lot of conversation! Mike
knows everything about the area. If you want to know where the new
mall is going, who is building it, and the name of the stores in it, Mike
will know. He is a fountain of local knowledge! After dinner Ellen gave us a fashion show, that
generated these pictures! I uploaded them and today I am finishing up the
dialog. But seriously Ellen looks like a model. But only when
she is not thinking about it. If she is posing she is to straight and
rigid, but if she is not paying attention, She lights up the room like Julia
Roberts, Just look at that huge smile when she is in the red suit. I
guess she needs a really hot photographer like Danny Moder to take her
pictures and take her mind off of having it taken. Marc is under a lot
of stress, and if you need a good salesman you should give him a try, he
could use the work. Contact him through my email up top. Anyway
like I was saying Marc is under a lot of stress and he tries to hide it with
humor. The more stress the worse the jokes, (Poor Bonnie who has to
listen to them) but we all love Marc anyway. (Even if his joking is
bad)
On Sunday we had another dinner engagement at Bert and
Acki's home in NJ. We arrived late (As usual) and the girls went to
one room and the guys in the other, until dinner. A good time was had
by all, but I wondered where the weekend went. It was over in a flash!
Monday was spent all day on my super secret project, and
this morning will be busy too.
George
Beware the ides of March.
It is Thursday March 18th. I always remember today as
is the day in 1314 - Jacques DeMolay, Frankish noble, the 23rd Grand Master
of the Knights Templar was burned on the stake for not finking on his
friends. Also on this day many years later, I would run for Master
Councilor of my DeMolay Chapter and secure MW Harold D Elliot II Grand
Master of Freemasons in NJ as my guest speaker at my installation. Several
years later I was awarded the Degree of Chevalier on this date the highest
honor that can be awarded to an active DeMolay. So March 18th has been a
special day in my history. I hope it is equally nice for you.
Last night we had the last meeting of Mountain Lakes Chapter before it is
merged into Melichor Chapter 131. It was also Birthday night. There is
something fitting about a chapter being born and passing into memory on the
same day. When that chapter was formed in 1931, it carried the hopes and
dreams of those people who wanted to serve their community. For 78 years it
did just that. I hope while it was under my tutelage I took care of their
trusted designs. It was a bitter sweet evening and there were a few people
there to witness the event. But somewhere around 9:30 pm last evening the
hopes, dreams and spirits that once made up Mountain Lakes Chapter, OES
ascended to the heavens to never shine its light in that building again. I
think it was a nice evening full of warm memories, and pleasant
remembrances. I think my mother would have approved.
To bring this back into gastric bypass, I was offered a piece of obligatory
sheet cake last night by a friend, and turned it down. She said "Oh you
can't have that can you." It was easier to say yes, and agree that it is
not on my current diet plan, but frankly I could eat it if I wanted to. But
I didn't eat it, and thats ok. In fact it is more than ok. It is nice to
be free of cakes, pies and sweets of all kinds. I just don't have a hunger
for them any more. or a need to eat them. I can believe how many things we
do, or in my case consume because we are supposed to. Who invented birthday
cake anyway? The founders of Jenny Craig sure benefit from it now, perhaps
they had something to do with it. But the important thing to remember here
is that you can buck the system. After this one really wakes up to using
food to fuel your body instead of using food for all of the other reasons we
use it for: Social catalyst, responsibility, comfort, hand occupation,
oral fixation, lover, just to name a few. If you can just get some
cooperation perhaps you can get some of these from your mate, or some other
channel for obsessive behavior. I guess what I am getting at, is there is
more than one way to skin a cat....
Sisters joined together forever Melchior, and Mountain Lakes Chapter
March 25th 2009
It is Wednesday March 25th and the scale reads 293 this AM. Last night we attended the Merger meeting between Mountain Lakes Chapter, and Melchior Chapter 131 OES. It was a happy event with a lot of tears. I think that is the best way to put it. It was the end of a 78 year era where the hopes and dreams of community involvement in the eastern Morris County area. But it really was an opportunity for a new beginning. "Live to fight another day." is a phrase that comes to mind. In the combined chapter we have a dream team of talent, historical successes, and go getters that can do miracle work for any community within it's members reach. I see a ripe future loaded with fund raisers, and community involvement where the members flow like spring mountain water.
Part of the ceremony of Installation is where the current Worthy Matron gives the Past Matrons ring to the incoming Worthy Matron. Ellen has had this ring all told about 4 years in her life. With Mountain Lakes merging and she no longer being Worthy Matron, she needed to give this ring to the Worthy Matron of Melchior. So she would not feel bad I gave her a ring I had made at Adam's Jewelers. She has been talking about an Eastern Star ring for years and I tried my best to design one that would fit her requests. Instead of making her feel better all it did was make her cry. It was a good cry as they were tears of happiness, but I never really figured out the good cry bad cry thing. I just carefully watch Ellen's reactions over the next week to see how I did. If she is pretty happy for the next week, than I guess I did well. If I see no positive reaction, then I guess I did no damage, If we fight all week and I end up in the doghouse, then I did not do such a good job. I will keep you posted.
The last two weeks have been the weeks from hell. I have been out and busy every night for the last two weeks, and I am exhausted. I need a break, and this weekend is not shaping up to be a representative of that. Go go go go I need to stop and take a breath. A weekend away is sorely needed, with nothing to do but swim, read relax and enjoy. Dropping out of school for a semester was supposed to give me more time, not make me busier! Anyway I need both a break, and something to take my mind off my troubles for a couple of hours, As I don't see a getaway weekend in my future soon.
On March 26th (Tomorrow) I will see my 1 year anniversary at work. Nobody makes a big deal out of Service Anniversaries here, so I am not expecting anything. It has been a wild ride with many many personal changes in that year. Loosing 100 + pounds, changing focus 4 times, and growing as a person all make for a rough and rugged road. One can scarcely wonder what is in my future for the next 12 months.
It is Thursday March 26, 2009 52 degrees and the scale this morning came in at 292. Even if weight loss is slower, I find as long as it is sliding in the correct direction, it works for me! I am a little discouraged that a lot of people start their weight loss journey at less than this. Ellen was only 260 when she started, and I am not even close to that yet at 100 pounds off. I guess you only play with the hand you are dealt.
Seriously though for my female readers who keep writing in, Your body has sure changed a lot, and yes under the weight you are carrying there is a nimble little body to work with. I have seen it, but true beauty is not at the level of the skin. People write in to me about hanging skin on their arms, and abdomen. If you were a beautiful person before you will be one now, except ever so much more so. If you were sexy before you will be now ever so much more so. Sadly the opposite is true. If you were a raving bitch before, you will be ever so much more so now. If you were a shy pilgrim, you will be ever so much more so now. Now these poor girls who have tried to loose weight their whole lives are worried that a little loose skin is stopping them from being all they want to be. Nobody gets it. You choose a mate because you care about them, love them, cherish them, and want to spend the rest of their life with them. Why the hell are you worried about what you look like to us now? We support you in your endeavor to get more healthy and therefore happy, not because we want hotter looking wives, and I will never understand why when we say you are hot, you don't believe us. Exactly what are we gaining by making that up? Think about it.
We think you are hot.
"But I am at the grocery store with grocery bags in my hands I cant be hot."
So?
We think you are hot.
"But I am too fat, I can't be hot."
So?
We think you are hot.
"But I have loose skin and I need to tone up at the gym and have more surgery"
So?
We are men, we see something we like and think "Hot!" like it or not if you are not going to go lesbian on us, we are all you have to choose from. If you think we are dumb, than so be it, but like it or not we think you are hot. Deal with have someone admiring you, and desiring you, and here is an idea, begin to accept it and like it. (some kind of return of that feeling and a physical reaction would be friggin fantastic!) Someone is emotionally and physically attracted to you, that is not the worst thing in the world. Even fall for someone and been completely rejected? Here is a clue for you.... That is what we are feeling now. Did you hang around and get closer to this person who rejected you? Most likely not. Are you expecting us to keep getting shut down, and keep hanging out? Don't count on it. So I know you are not happy with your appearance in the mirror naked. I know it does not make you feel sexy. Go find some lingerie and cover what you don't like, get horizontal and for once in your life, enjoy that hot little body you have been pining for forever! You guys are lucky. It is not like we can go to Victoria's Secret, or Hips and Curves, and buy something that the moment we slip it on turns you into a caged animal! If we could find a shop that sells that there would be a line of workbooted, jean wearing, guys forming a line from here to LA. Trust me we would do pretty much anything for that result. Here is a bonus: Sex is a great workout. According to http://www.ehow.com "It tones the arms during the act, it tones the abdomen, it is the equivalent of about 100 crunches, (Depending on position) the good news is you can burn up to 300 calories per hour by having sex--an exercise that activates all of the body's muscle groups." And more good news: "If you like long sessions, how about the fact that full-on intercourse can burn 5 calories per minute or more." Do the math, a workout that makes you happy, and where it makes you happy, it does wonders for your mates that have loved you no matter how you looked.
It is Monday March 30th 2009, and here I am back at my desk. I am currently working at the Monroe County Career and Technical Institute (MCTI Formally Monroe County Vo-Tech) teaching a class of Intro to web design. We are working on a revamp of my web site. I am enjoying getting the other input of the class members and we are looking at a sleeker, more businesslike look. I have two other potential clients to work with in the near future. A native American design and photography site and a real estate site. Both are looking promising.
The scale rang in at 287 this morning so things are going in the right direction still. Ellen has a lot of hip pain, and I am having a lot of back pain. Time will tell, but for now I keep saying "I have the same aches and pains I had before and a few new ones." March is shaping up to be a real short month Blog wise, and I am doing what I can day to day to keep it up. but there is a no news is good news theory behind it.
Saturday night we went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner, and it was nice. This is the first time I have gone since the surgery, and I used to get a 24oz Texas Rib-eye, 2 Caesar Salads, and drinks. This visit, Ellen and I split a 10 oz Texas Rib-eye a Caesar salad, and a baked potato, and did not finish all of it. the whole bill was under $20.00! If it can stay like that, great! I love sharing meals with Ellen, it makes dining out affordable, and I don't feel guilty about not getting to the dishes....
It is Tuesday March 31st 2009 and I am 286 this morning. I put in some pictures so you can get an idea on how I am looking these days. Zach is home sick again oday as I had to go get him at school, I hope he is feeling better soon. I knew he did not feel well, but he really seemed to enjoy dinner last night. About dinner, Sunday night I fell asleep watching watching throw down with Bobby Flay. He was going down to Washington Georgia and going head to head with a hometown hero who had won dozens of awards for cooking shrimp and grits. Watching the show I knew I had to try cooking these. It came out great! Real hot, but great. I will have to play with the recipe and try again, but I would make that a second time, no sweat. Keep in mind with the recipe having both shrimp and sausage in it, it is not a cheap meal, but Ellen and I could easily get 4 dinners each out of this concoction.
Here is the recipe from Food TV Network:
Ingredients
Shrimp:
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Grits:
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Sauce:
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Directions
First, peel and devein the shrimp. In a small bowl, combine Cajun seasoning, paprika, Italian seasoning and salt and pepper, to taste. Sprinkle the spice mixture over the shrimp to coat well and set the shrimp aside.
Next, make your grits. In a medium saucepan, bring water, chicken bouillon cubes and 2 tablespoons butter to a boil. Slowly add the grits, whisking often with wire whisk for 5 minutes. Add tomato paste, cream, and cheese. Keep whisking for another 2 or 3 minutes until the grits become creamy. Don't skimp on the butter and the cream, folks.
Now saute the shrimp. In a large saute pan, melt 2 tablespoons of butter. Add minced garlic and stir for 30 seconds. Add in the spice-coated shrimp, and cook only until they're just done and tender. Don't overcook. Remove the shrimp from the saute pan and set them aside in a bowl. You can taste 1 or 2, to see if they're okay.
The roux is next. With all those wonderful drippings from the shrimp in the saute pan, add 3 tablespoons of all-purpose flour and stir with a wooden spatula to make a roux. Cook for 10 to 15 minutes until roux reaches a medium-tan color, then slowly add the chicken stock and heavy whipping cream. Whisk together and cook for 2 minutes, then whisk in Worcestershire sauce and hot sauce. Set aside.
And last, a little country ham. Cook 1 center slice of cured country ham in a saute pan, and cut into cubes.
To serve, and this is the best part-place a few heaping spoonfuls of steaming cheese grits onto a place, top with several sizzling shrimp. Drizzle that wonderful roux sauce over top of the shrimp, and sprinkle on a few cubes of country ham. Enjoy.
Like I said A bit hot, but don't let that scare you. You could tone it down. So, that is about all for today, see you next month!